....two, three, four, one, two (three four!)
[insert funky intro]
Let me tell you how it will be
Two points for you and one for me
'Cause I'm the Axe Man -
Yeah, I'm the Axe Man.
Should my point value seem too small
Remember I'm slowest of all
'Cause I'm the Axe Man -
Yeah, I'm the Axe Man.
If you see me come, you'd best retreat
If you stand your ground, I'll axe your seat
If you place some satchels by my feet
Then a dwarf can blow me down the street
(Axe Man!)
[insert schizophrenic guitar solo]
'Cause I'm the Axe Man -
Yeah, I'm the Axe Man.
Don't ask me what I'm so slow for
(Uh uh, Mr. Balor!)
If you don't want to wait some more
(Uh uh, you Watcher!)
'Cause I'm the Axe Man -
Yeah, I'm the Axe Man.
Now my advice for those who die
(Axe Man!)
Rise up again; axe those nearby
(Axe Man!)
'Cause I'm the Axe Man -
Yeah, I'm the Axe Man.
And there's nobody slower than me.
(AXE MAN!)
[insert schizophrenic guitar solo again, fade]
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